Plenty of articles have circulated the internet with lists of things you should and shouldn’t say to a woman who has recently miscarried. Because I have my own perspective on pregnancy loss, I thought I’d offer up my own suggestions.
1. let her talk about it
In many ways, losing a pregnancy is like having a baby (except, of course, in all of the ways it isn’t). One of the similarities is that every women comes out the other side with a unique battle story. While miscarriage is heartbreakingly common, the experience itself is as individual as the woman experiencing it.
That’s why women want to share their stories. It isn’t something I’d ever discuss during one of those “when my child was born…” conversations that inevitably develops from time to time when moms get together. But in the first couple of weeks after we lost our baby, it was cathartic to talk things through (I suppose it still is, which is why I choose to write about it).