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Maternity Clothes: What to Get & What to Skip

February 5, 2016 by Abby

Maternity stores would like you to believe you need at least one of everything they sell, but that’s just not true. Here’s a seasoned mom’s list of what you really need to make it through nine months of pregnancy.

Maternity stores would like you to believe you need at least one of everything they sell, but that's just not true. Here's a seasoned mom's list of what you really need to make it through nine months of pregnancy.

Maternity Clothes: What to Get & What to Skip

What to Get

Belly Band

I bought my belly band when I first got pregnant with G and it continues to be one of the best maternity purchases I’ve made. I first begin using it around 10 to 12 weeks when my pants will no longer button. The band sits around my waist and holds the pants up so I don’t have to worry about them falling down. When I transition to maternity pants, the band is helpful to hold them up when the built-in elastic is still a little loose.

Best of all, I wear the band for at least a few weeks- okay, fine, it’s more like a couple months- after baby arrives as I wait for my pre-pregnancy pants to fit again. These bands are miracle-working lifesavers. I can’t explain how much easier it makes the transition from regular pants to maternity pants and back again.

Mix and Match Pieces

Buying maternity clothes can be a fine line between trying to be frugal and wanting to look good at a time you often feel less-than-good. It’s so tempting to splurge on cute patterned pants or that wild top. I don’t have anything against pieces like that, and I even have a few in my own closet. When we’re talking maternity wear on a budget, though, it’s important to purchase every piece with the intention of wearing it with nearly every other piece you have.

If you buy patterned pants that really only look good with one top, you aren’t maximizing your money. Consider using your existing accessories, like brightly-colored scarves or funky jewelry, to liven up your maternity wardrobe.

Fitted Tees

Okay, first of all, when you’re pregnant, most anything is going to be “fitted”. Even so, there are still some dressy, flowing options available. I find I get much more use out of fitted tees than I do anything fancier, though. Even though I was working at a bank during my first two pregnancies, and I’ve been a teacher during my most recent two, I love that plain fitted tees can double as work wear and casual wear.

I can wear a tee like this, or this, or this, to work with a cardigan, a blazer, or just on its own and be perfectly in dress code (side note: I don’t think many bosses are going to question the hormonal pregnant lady if she happens to be pushing the dress code boundaries a little). I can wear the same tees with jeans and be casual. As someone who dresses up for work four out of seven days in a week, I appreciate clothes that pull double duty.

[Read more…]

Why We Shared Our Pregnancy-After-Miscarriage News Early

December 14, 2015 by Abby

The reasons why, despite everything convention tells us, we decided to share our pregnancy-after-miscarriage news early.

When J and I first began discussing trying to get pregnant again after the miscarriage of our third baby, one of the things we talked about was how we’d handle announcing the news.

With our first baby, G, we shared our pregnancy as soon as we found out- at 6 weeks. We were excited and we didn’t want to wait to celebrate with our friends and family. Plus, my brother and his wife were already expecting a baby. We wanted to share that there’d soon be baby cousins.

When we got pregnant with B, we kept it a secret from everyone until we were 10 or 12 weeks along. To be honest, looking back, I don’t recall why we decided to wait. We knew the statistics about miscarriage, but I don’t think that was the only motivating factor in saving our news.

We were trying to get pregnant with our third, so we knew right away, at four weeks. We told our families and a few close friends, but for the most part we guarded our secret, waiting to make the news official until we were safely out of the first trimester. At the end of the twelfth week of pregnancy, we made the news Facebook official and shared it with the world.

Three days later, I miscarried.

My first instinct regarding a fourth pregnancy was to hold tightly to the news. The more I thought about it, though, the more firmly I came to realize this truth: the pain we experienced when we lost the baby was not magnified because of how many people knew about our pregnancy. The loss hurt because our baby died; it didn’t hurt because we had to tell people.

In fact, as I mentioned in my post about helping a friend through her miscarriage, the comments from friends- especially those who have experienced miscarriage themselves- were comforting.

Ultimately, we decided not to wait until we made it to the second trimester to share our happy news.

Why We Shared Our Pregnancy-After-Miscarriage News Early

We want to celebrate this baby

We are so happy about this pregnancy. This baby was planned for and wanted and loved long before we saw two lines on a pregnancy test. It is our desire to celebrate this little life; we hope and pray that we’ll get to keep celebrating for decades to come, but if that isn’t the case, we want to rejoice for the eight or ten or twenty weeks we have.

What we don’t want is to share our pregnancy news with people in the same breath we share our miscarriage news.

[Read more…]

our favorite bedtime stories

September 4, 2015 by Abby

Our family’s favorite children’s books for settling kids down and preparing for bedtime. These books are made up of soothing illustrations and nursery rhyme-like prose.

We have a lot of favorite books in my house. My kids love to be read to and, because I enjoy reading so much, I’m happy to oblige. While we have a lot of favorite books, there are only a few that I like to read right before bedtime.

Where the Wild Things Are and Chicka Chicka Boom Boom are classics- and two of our favorites- for a reason, but they aren’t always conducive to winding down and preparing to sleep. Because of that, we save them for another time of day and reach for one of these bedtime favorites instead.

1. Bedtime for Little Bears! by David Bedford
This is G.’s current favorite bedtime story. He loves all the arctic animals featured, and I love the vivid language, the soft illustrations, and the sweet relationship between the baby bear and the mama bear.

2. The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown
The illustrations are earthy and the message is one every parent wants to convey to their child: there’s nothing you can do to change my love for you. It’s the perfect thought to leave a child with before a night of sleep.

3. On the Night You Were Born by Nancy Tillman
A celebration of the awe and rejoicing that accompanies a child’s birth, this story is one that will touch the parent or grandparent reading it just as much as it will the child listening.

[Read more…]

5 daily habits of happy families

July 3, 2015 by Abby

Creating a happy family in today’s fast-paced world takes thought and intention. Here are five tips to help make it happen.

Hey! The month of July has me crisscrossing the country, from a road trip to Chicago to a plane ride “home” to Oregon. While I’m away, I’ve lined up some awesome guest posts for y’all. Today, Debbie is sharing tips to building a stronger, happier family.

How can you create a loving, happy family and enjoy a meaningful life together?

Happy families take the time to create positive habits and incorporate them into their daily lives. Here are five daily habits that are simple to implement and help create strong relationships.

1. Hug and kiss goodbye when you are leaving the house.
Take a quick moment to give and receive affection. Hugging your children helps them relax and deal with daily stress better. The power of touch helps build strong family bonds. This strong bond helps your child grow into a confident adult.

2. Greet family members when they return home.
This makes them feel valued and welcome when they return and can lead to better connections between family members.

[Read more…]

how to make mom cry happy tears on mother’s day

May 4, 2015 by Abby

I conducted a poll on my Facebook page, asking my friends and followers what no- or low-cost gifts they would love to receive for Mother’s Day. The responses I received were creative and heart-warming, so I’m sharing my favorites here with you.

1. Write her a letter

Most moms, even those whose children are grown, feel unappreciated at times. One of the friends who commented on my post suggested something so sweet and simple that I wondered why I hadn’t thought of it yet myself: a handwritten letter.

Your letter could discuss any number of things: favorite memories, special lessons learned, hopes or plans for the future. If you’re a parent yourself, you could mention all the ways your mom has influenced your own parenting. If you don’t have kids, consider telling her all of the best parts of your childhood that you plan to incorporate into your own family.

Bonus points: continue the handwritten letter theme with these placemats.

2. Create a photo book

Photo albums are so 1999. These days, it’s much more efficient and fun to create a photo book online. Use your digital photos, or scan your old prints, to create a book that you can customize with text and templates. My favorite site to create photo books is Shutterfly <– (this is a referral link, but if you use it, you get a free 8 x 8 book).

Bonus points: rally your siblings and do something wild, like recreate photos from your childhood.

3. Take care of something she hates

Maybe mom loves having a clean, detailed car, but she hates washing it herself. Perhaps she’s been dreaming of repainting a room, but hasn’t yet found the time and effort. Maybe mom constantly reminisces about a memorable meal, but she lacks the skill or equipment to recreate it.

To really make Mother’s Day special for your mom, think about the projects or goals she has and how you can help her reach them. Often, the tasks she needs or wants done require more time than money, so this is an especially good option if you’re short on cash.

Bonus points: create something with your own two hands.

4. Gather everyone together

If you have siblings that are spread far and wide, gather everyone together to celebrate mom. Even if it can’t happen right on Mother’s Day, having all of her kids in one place will definitely induce happy tears. Most moms of grown children would tell you the greatest gift you can give is to get all of her babies in one place.

Bonus points: get professional photos taken while everyone is together.

5. Make it Mother’s Week

I remember wondering, when I was a kid, why there was a Mother’s Day and a Father’s Day, but no Kid’s Day. I didn’t really get it when my mom replied that “every day is Kid’s Day”.

I definitely get it now. Moms are incredibly underappreciated, so this year, fake her out by turning what she thinks is a Mother’s Day celebration into a week’s worth of love. Get her seven gifts to open, or plan seven special meals. The work you put into a weeklong show of appreciation will tell mom just how grateful you are for her.

Bonus points: create a theme for the week and center every gift, meal, or act of service around that.

Need Mother’s Day recipe inspiration? Check out these simple and tasty brunch recipes.

What Mother’s Day gift make syour mom cry happy tears?

(this post contains affiliate links; to learn more, see my disclosure policy)

10 Simple & Tasty Mother’s Day Brunch Recipes + a Blog Hop

April 29, 2015 by Abby

Welcome to our April Blog Hop!

This month we are focusing on all things Mother’s Day…it’s only a couple of weeks away! Get ready for some great ideas, inspiration and how -tos as you move along through the blog hop.

You may just be starting, or may have come from Anna International on our Living with Style Blog Hop. If you get off track at any time, the full lineup below will help you move along from blog to blog so you make sure to see and learn from all of the articles featured here today.

[Read more…]

8 ways to help a friend through her miscarriage

February 10, 2015 by Abby

Plenty of articles have circulated the internet with lists of things you should and shouldn’t say to a woman who has recently miscarried. Because I have my own perspective on pregnancy loss, I thought I’d offer up my own suggestions.

1. let her talk about it

In many ways, losing a pregnancy is like having a baby (except, of course, in all of the ways it isn’t). One of the similarities is that every women comes out the other side with a unique battle story. While miscarriage is heartbreakingly common, the experience itself is as individual as the woman experiencing it.

That’s why women want to share their stories. It isn’t something I’d ever discuss during one of those “when my child was born…” conversations that inevitably develops from time to time when moms get together. But in the first couple of weeks after we lost our baby, it was cathartic to talk things through (I suppose it still is, which is why I choose to write about it).

[Read more…]

loss & longing part III: the weeks after

February 3, 2015 by Abby

This is part III, the final part of the three part story of the miscarriage of our third baby. The story begins with part I and continues with part II.

On Tuesday, the day after we found out we lost the baby, we had to return to the doctor’s office for pre-surgery blood work and registration. I think I was mostly numb at that point, because I was able to keep my tears in check most of the time.

That evening we went to school (J. and I both teach high school; he teaches upper-level sciences and I teach business and technology). Because my surgery was scheduled for the next morning, Wednesday, we both had sub plans to make (I had to make mine for the rest of the week, but J. planned to return to work on Thursday). I was calm and collected during those couple hours working in my classroom; I’m pretty good at dealing with stress if I have tasks to complete. I methodically made my plans and left detailed notes and instructions for my sub(s).

We had to leave early Wednesday morning for the hospital. Because of the nature of my surgery, I didn’t have a set appointment time; they just fit me in where they could. We sat in the waiting room, waiting to be called back, for nearly two hours. I killed time messing around on my phone and watching The Today Show, not shedding a tear. [Read more…]

loss & longing part II: immediately after

January 27, 2015 by Abby

loss & longing: thoughts on the aftermath of miscarriage

This is part two in the three part story of the loss our third pregnancy. To read the story from the beginning, here’s part I. The story concludes with part III.

The ultrasound tech came back just a few moments later with my doctor. He was so kind as he explained that the baby had died. He wanted me to call someone to come get me, but I insisted that I was okay to make the 30 minute drive home. He asked that I call the office later in the evening to discuss what we needed to do next, but I asked him to describe things to me there.

He explained that, because the pregnancy was 12 weeks along, I would have to have a D & C procedure: a surgery, performed under general anesthesia, in which the cervix is dilated and the contents of the uterus are removed. After we talked briefly, he walked me to my car.

[Read more…]

loss & longing part I: finding out

January 20, 2015 by Abby

loss & longing: thoughts on the aftermath of miscarriage | winstead wandering

The first and only ultrasound photo we have of Baby Winstead #3. This was taken at my eight week appointment, where everything looked healthy and normal.

This is part I in the three part story of the miscarriage of our third baby; here is part II.

When I was younger, I didn’t understand the concept of miscarriage. How can you miss and mourn something that you’ve never held? As someone who believes that life begins at conception, it wasn’t that I didn’t believe those pregnancies were people. It was that I didn’t see how the loss of something so small could cause such huge pain.

Fast forward a decade to March of 2010. J. and I had just bought our first home, in Oregon, and he was back in Mississippi visiting family. It had occurred to me while at work that I was two weeks late. I was never late. So, after work, I stopped by the grocery store to buy a pregnancy test. I was so sure the test would be negative that I even bought tampons, too.

I went straight home and took the test. I hoped I was pregnant. J. and I had been trying for a couple of months. In those two minutes, as I paced the hallway outside the bathroom with our pony-sized black lab following anxiously behind, I dreamed. I imagined calling J. to share the news. I thought about my body growing and changing and the joy and anticipation of preparing for the baby. I pictured us as a family of three, with me falling in love with J. all over again while watching him be a dad.

[Read more…]