Winstead Wandering

Prone to Wander

Free Father’s Day Printable (for Grandpa, too!)

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This free Father’s Day Printable is the perfect substitute for a boring store-bought card. Record and commemorate the hilarious memories for years to come.

This free Father's Day Printable is the perfect substitute to a boring store-bought card. Record and commemorate the hilarious memories for years to come.

 

Printables like this first gained popularity several years ago on Pinterest. I didn’t have kids at the time, but I knew this was something I wanted to do when the time came. Now it’s here!

I’d seen plenty of free versions around the internet, but as often happens, I decided to make my own in order to get the exact look I wanted.

This free Father's Day Printable is the perfect substitute to a boring store-bought card. Record and commemorate the hilarious memories for years to come.

Free Father’s Day Printable (can be used for a grandfather, too)

You can get the completely free downloads below!

Dad Version

This free Father's Day Printable is the perfect substitute to a boring store-bought card. Record and commemorate the hilarious memories for years to come.

Grandpa Version

This free Father's Day Printable is the perfect substitute to a boring store-bought card. Record and commemorate the hilarious memories for years to come.

How to use the Printable

The printables themselves are self-explanatory, but what should you do with them after they’re completed? The simplest option is to give to dad in lieu of a store-bought card. Trust me, this substitute will make dad way happier than a $6 card.

You can easily turn it into a complete gift by purchasing something to go along with your child’s answers (if they’re accurate). Did she remember her dad loves root beer? Buy his favorite brand. Does he know Dad loves to wear goofy socks? Let him pick out a few pairs he thinks his dad will love. Combine the cute questionnaire with a thoughtful child-inspired gift and you’re good to go.

I also suggest preserving the interview. Dad will love reading back over each year’s interview every time Father’s Day rolls around. You could stick them all in a small binder, or you could frame page from the most recent year, storing the pages from each previous year behind it in the frame.

Even if you only manage to get your child(ren) to complete the page, their father or grandfather is sure to love the sweet personalized gift.

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Don’t forget to pin this Free Father’s Day Printable for next year!

This free Father's Day Printable is the perfect substitute to a boring store-bought card. Record and commemorate the hilarious memories for years to come.

Tips for Easy School Lunches

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This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #2Good2Bear #CollectiveBias

Does packing your kids’ lunches fill you with dread? It doesn’t have to! Check out these tips for easy school lunches.

Does packing your kids' lunches fill you with dread? It doesn't have to! Check out these tips for easy school lunches.

My two oldest kids started school this year. I went from only worrying about my own lunch to being responsible for the three of us (full disclosure: J makes their lunches sometimes, too). I started the school year with big ideas about what I’d pack them and how I’d make the process easier. Some of those ideas panned out, some of them flopped, and some have been tweaked to create what I consider to be a pretty streamlined system.

Tips for Easy School Lunches

Prep for the Whole Week on Sunday

Maybe you can relate to this: Sunday night brings the best intentions regarding school lunches. You’re going to pack well-rounded meals every day. Monday goes well, and Tuesday isn’t bad either, but things go downhill. By Friday, you’re raiding the pantry for combination of items that won’t draw judgment from you kids’ teachers.

Here’s my best tip for overcoming that weekly slide: do as much prep work as possible on Sunday. This can include slicing cheese, making sandwiches, cooking a batch of chicken nuggets or pasta and portioning it into containers. Basically, do in advance anything you can. Not only does it take little additional time to make five sandwiches instead of one, you’ll also save yourself the headache of doing the same chore four more times during the week.

Turn to Ready-Made Treats

I’d say at least 80 percent of what I send in my kids’ lunches is prepared in our home. I’m not talking homegrown produce or from-scratch bread, but instead of prepackaged cheese and crackers, we buy a box of crackers and a brick of cheese. We do this to save money and to make sure our picky eaters get meals we know they’ll eat.

Does packing your kids' lunches fill you with dread? It doesn't have to! Check out these tips for easy school lunches.

There are times I turn to store-bought snacks, though, because they’re convenient and because my kids love them. One of our favorites is TEDDY SOFT BAKED Filled Snacks. My kids love that they’re shaped like bears, and I love that they don’t contain artificial colors, artificial flavors, or high fructose corn syrup. They’re made with ingredients I’m familiar with, like eggs and milk (and, of course, chocolate!).

Does packing your kids' lunches fill you with dread? It doesn't have to! Check out these tips for easy school lunches.

Don’t forget to use ibotta to earn cash back when you purchase TEDDY SOFT BAKED Filled Snacks.  I grab them in the cracker/cookie aisle at Walmart when I’m stocking up on other school-lunch necessities. If you were there February 23, you might have noticed a fun demo featuring TEDDY SOFT BAKED Filled Snacks and GoGo Squeeze.

Use Your Freezer

A long time ago, before I had kids, I saw a tip about making and freezing peanut butter sandwiches. I thought it was ridiculous because peanut butter sandwiches are crazy easy to make. Then I had kids, and those kids started school, and I learned how naive I’d been. Sure, making a peanut butter sandwich may take two minutes, but that’s sometimes two minutes you don’t have.

Now, I buy a loaf or two of bread and use all the slices to make peanut butter sandwiches. I half them, freeze them, and pull them out one at a time as needed. I also use the freezer for berries purchased fresh in season and for pureed vegetables used to make our own pouches.

[Read more…]

What I’m Reading Lately: Children’s Books Edition

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Finding books that appeal to kids and parents can be tough. We’ve done it, though! Here’s what I’m reading lately: children’s books edition.

Between Christmas gifts and school book orders, we’ve been reading a lot of books lately. Often, the kids get hooked on a couple books that J and I don’t care for. I love that my children share my passion for reading, but it’s no fun to read (and read and read and read) books you don’t like. That’s why J and I are thrilled when we come across children’s books we enjoy reading.

Since I’m sure we aren’t the only parents out there in search of entertaining kid lit, I put together this list of children’s books we’re currently loving.

Finding books that appeal to kids and parents can be tough. We've done it, though! Here's what I'm reading lately: children's books edition.

What I’m Reading Lately: Children’s Books Edition

“The Day the Crayons Came Home“

Finding books that appeal to kids and parents can be tough. We've done it, though! Here's what I'm reading lately: children's books edition.

My four-year-old got this book for Christmas from my husband’s mom. We came home after opening presents that day and discovered my mom had gotten her the exact same book. So now we have two copies. Considering how much the kids love it, that might be a good thing. Not only is this story really cute, it’s full of puns and humor just for the grown-ups.

“Mother Bruce“

Finding books that appeal to kids and parents can be tough. We've done it, though! Here's what I'm reading lately: children's books edition.

This book is hilarious. The first time J read it to the kids, I couldn’t stop laughing at the random lines I could hear from the kitchen. The kids were cracking up, too. This story is one of those rare gems that delights parents as much as it does kids. There’s a second book, “Hotel Bruce“, that the kids and I are excited to read.

The Children’s Storybook Bible

Finding books that appeal to kids and parents can be tough. We've done it, though! Here's what I'm reading lately: children's books edition.

A few years ago, within the span of a couple weeks, I saw this story Bible recommended by several friends and trusted bloggers. I had to buy it, of course. Even three years later, it’s still our favorite children’s Bible. I love the doctrine and the kid-friendly writing, the kids love the bright pictures and the easy-to-understand story.

[Read more…]

Best Baby Products Under $20

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These are seriously the best baby products under $20. They’re all mom-tested and -approved, and guaranteed to make this parenting thing a whole lot easier.

I’ve bought a lot of baby products over the last six plus years. Some I’ve loved, some I’ve hated, and some I’ve enjoyed so much I’m constantly telling others about them. If you’re looking for a roundup of must-have baby products, this isn’t it. If you want a list of items guaranteed to make your life a little easier, read on.

Best Baby Products Under $20

These are seriously the best baby products under $20. They're all mom-tested and approved, and guaranteed to make this parenting thing a whole lot easier.

 

  1. Self-Laminating Baby Bottle Labels, $9 | If your baby spends any time in a place with other babies- church, daycare, grandma’s house- you need these labels. They’re super easy to use and will hold up for months.
  2. Bandana Bibs, $5 | Q is a drooler. Big time. She’s pretty much worn a bib around the clock since she was three months old. To avoid covering all her outfits with a big, bland bib, I bought a couple sets of these bandana bibs. They’re adorable and they help hide the fact she’s actually wearing a bib. Bonus: these come in an adorable bag, perfect for gifting.
  3. Diaper Cream Brush, $10 | Okay, so I don’t own one of these, but I totally want one! I hate applying diaper cream with my fingers; the feeling and the smell never seem to go away. I would definitely use and love this brush.
  4. Mesh Feeder, $7 | These mesh feeders are ideal for when baby is first learning to self-feed. You can pack the pouch with fresh or frozen fruits or veggies and let baby suck and chew away. If you’ve ever used something like this, you know the product gets really hard to clean after a few weeks. That’s why I love this brand; you can buy replacement mesh for the feeding part.
  5. Silicone Teething Necklace, $12 | You know how babies put everything in their mouths, including whatever jewelry mom is wearing? This necklace is the perfect solution. It’s made of silicone is specifically for baby to chew on.
  6. Burpy Bib, $7 | Q was a messy eater from day one. We found these burp cloth/bib combos so convenient because they button around her neck like a bib, but then they lay flat over your shoulder like a burp cloth. They’re way more convenient than trying to keep a regular burp cloth tucked up under baby’s chin.
  7. No-Squeeze Pouch Holder, $5 | This is such a brilliant product. We love using baby food pouches, both store bought and homemade, but babies have to be pretty old before they can understand not to squeeze the pouch. With this box, the pouch goes inside and baby can’t squeeze. Perfect!
  8. Take & Toss Cups and Bowls, $3-$9 | My aunt got a set of these bowls and cups for us at G’s baby shower more than six years ago and we still have a bunch in our cabinet. They’re cheap enough to be considered disposable if necessary, but durable enough to last for six+ years and 2+ kids.
  9. Bambino Land Muslin Swaddle Blankets, $14 | There are lots of companies out there making muslin swaddle blankets, but Bambino Land is my favorite. I love their prices, their prints, and their quality. We have a ton of these and have used them as swaddles, nursing covers, burp cloths, changing table covers, floor blankets, car seat covers, and more.
  10. Munch Mitt, $18 | Q sucks and chews on her hands pretty much nonstop when she’s awake. Ever since she started teething, she’s been making them red and dry by constantly having them in her mouth. I went in search of a product to help and discovered the Munch Mitt. I initially thought I’d have to buy a second one, but I put it on one hand she uses her second hand to pull the mitt into her mouth. At first I was appalled by the price of this thing, but it’s ended up saving her poor little hands.

What would you consider the best baby products under $20?

Looking for more posts like this one? Check out what you really need for a new baby and 5 things you don’t need for a new baby.

(this post contains affiliate links; to learn more, see my disclosure policy)

What’s in My Diaper Bag

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This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #BetterBottles #CollectiveBias

What’s in my diaper bag? The necessities and the unnecessary, as told by an experienced mom of three little ones.

What's in my diaper bag? The necessities and the unnecessary, as told by an experienced mom of three little ones.

So much has changed since I first became a mom. I remember so vividly how overwhelmed I felt when we first brought G home from the hospital. I had younger siblings and cousins, and I’d even cared for infants as part of my brief job as a daycare worker. But then we got home and it was just the three of us and the vastness of all the things I didn’t know.

I feel like I’ve come a long way in nearly six years. Baby number three, Q, is nearly four months old and, while I can’t say I’ve completely stopped texting my mom questions and consulting Dr. Google, I feel much more confident in my parenting than I did back then.

One of the dozens of things that has changed since G was born is my diaper bag packing skills. When he was a baby, I would fill a huge bag with all the “essentials”: a ton of diapers, several outfits, and way too many burp cloths and bibs. I also left out several items that would have been useful to have.

So what’s in my diaper bag now that I’m a more seasoned mom? Let’s take a look.

What’s in My Diaper Bag

The biggest mistake I made when packing G’s diaper bag was filling it with stuff for him- more stuff than he’d ever need in one outing- and nothing for me. Now, when I pack Q’s bag, I focus on both of us.

What's in my diaper bag? The necessities and the unnecessary, as told by an experienced mom of three little ones.

For Baby

Basically, baby just needs food and a clean diaper. I toss in a clean outfit or two, but mostly everything other than food and diapers is inessential. I pack one diaper for every hour or two we plan to be away from home, plus wipes and a changing pad. Unless we’re in the middle of fighting a rash, I leave the creams and powders at home. They just take up precious space in the diaper bag and I don’t need them. Same goes for extra clothes; one outfit is all you need, unless your little one is known for spitting up or blowing out.

I exclusively pump for Q, so I have to pack bottles and pumped breast milk. Finding bottles that worked for her was a little tricky this time around; she didn’t care for the two expensive brands we used for G and B. We ended up discovering that she prefers more affordable options, like these Playtex Baby™ VentAire® bottles (how fitting is it that my infant daughter is as frugal as I am? Do you think she knows that 3-packs of  Playtex Nurser 8 oz., VentAire 9 oz., and VentAire Color sat Walmart have a $3 off coupon on them?)

What's in my diaper bag? The necessities and the unnecessary, as told by an experienced mom of three little ones.

We’re enjoying these bottles for a few reasons. Some of the reasons are obvious, like the way the Anti-Colic Bottom Vent soothes Q’s tummy troubles, or the way the angled design promotes semi-upright feeding, which I just learned is supposed to help prevent ear infections (yes, please!). We also like them because the wide mouth makes it so easy to pour in breast milk or scoop in formula. That same wide opening makes the whole thing a breeze to clean, so much more so than some of those other bottles that seem to have a gazillion different parts.

[Read more…]

Stop Saying My Son Needs to Toughen Up

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Stop saying my son needs to toughen up.

First of all, he’s five. He’s far too young to be subjected to your narrow-minded stereotypes and ill-informed ideas. Secondly, and most importantly, he’s perfect just the way he is.

First of all, he’s five. He’s far too young to be subjected to your narrow-minded stereotypes and ill-informed ideas. Secondly, and most importantly, he’s perfect just the way he is.

You see his sensitivity as weakness, as something a little time spent hunting or throwing a football can extinguish. I see it as precious, like the time he insisted on putting his arm around my shoulders as I sobbed on the couch after finding out I’d miscarried his younger sibling. I see it as sweet, like the way he’s content to hold and sing to his newborn sister for far longer than most kids his age would be.

First of all, he’s five. He’s far too young to be subjected to your narrow-minded stereotypes and ill-informed ideas. Secondly, and most importantly, he’s perfect just the way he is.

You see his cautious nature as weakness, too, as if he’s one hesitation away from wilting like a delicate flower. I see it as intelligence; he’s bright enough to think through the potential consequences of his actions. I don’t want him to grow up fearing the world around him, but I also refuse to dismiss his concerns and anxieties. They’re part of who he is and I won’t try to frighten them out of him.

I don’t know when I first began to notice the implication from others, often from well-meaning family members, that my firstborn needed to toughen up. The comments didn’t bother me much at first, I guess because it seemed like such a silly thing to say about such a young child.

[Read more…]

What to Pack in a Toddler Carry-On

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Take it from a mom who travels frequently with young children: here’s everything you need to know about what to pack- and what not to pack- in a toddler carry-on.

Take it from a mom who travels frequently with young children: here's everything you need to know about what to pack- and what not to pack- in a toddler carry-on.

Flying is pretty routine for our children. G took his first flight at just over a month old, B when she was two weeks. Since then, we’ve traveled numerous times with both of them. I’ve lost count of how many times each has been on a plane, but I know G, who is five, has taken more than a dozen round-trips. By now, we feel like we’ve got a pretty good grasp on what to pack in a toddler carry-on to make the trip as smooth and, dare I say fun, for all involved.

What to Pack in a Toddler Carry-On

Take it from a mom who travels frequently with young children: here's everything you need to know about what to pack- and what not to pack- in a toddler carry-on.

What We’re Bringing

The picture is what will be in B’s backpack. I buy most snacks and activities in pairs, so G’s will be nearly identical.

  • Crayons and a zipper pouch (both from Dollar Tree): We have plenty of crayons at home, but these are fresh and unused and will make the kids’ day.
  • Coloring: Paw Patrol coloring activity (Toys ‘r’ Us), Jake and the Neverland Pirates coloring book (Dollar Tree), Frozen art set (Toys ‘r’ Us), and Jake and the Neverland Pirates activity (Target). These were all $1 each and they feature our toddlers’ favorite characters. The Frozen activity has stickers, and we’ll have fun coloring the rest.
  • Homemade playdough, a plastic spoon, and a cookie cutter (all brought from home). It’s a little unconventional as far as airplane activities go, but it holds B’s attention longer than any activity or TV show, and G enjoys it, too.
  • LeapPad (Amazon). I originally bought the pink one for G for $40 during a Black Friday sale and it’s since been passed on to B. We don’t have any expensive games or apps, but B has a blast using the built-in coloring feature and watching a few inexpensive videos. We’ve since bought a newer one that G will bring. It has a few math and reading games that he enjoys.
  • Snacks: baby food pouches (Big Lots, peanut butter crackers (Dollar Tree), and Peppa Pig cookies (Big Lots). These snacks totaled $5 and the crackers will be shared between both kids for both our flights out and our flights back. We love those pouches because they’re a mess-free, healthy, on-the-go treat.

There are, of course, some things we’re bringing that aren’t pictured:

  • Blankets: we bring one blanket for each kid. They both have an attachment to a particular blanket, so bringing those will comfort them. The blankets will also be nice if it gets chilly and when we try to convince them to nap.
  • Extra Batteries: this one is a no-brainer if you’re bringing electronics of any kind. We love rechargeable batteries because we can charge them during a layover.
  • Headphones: pack headphones if you’re bringing any type of electronics, but also if the airplane might have in-flight entertainment. Most airlines will sell headphones, but they’re expensive and ill-fitting. These are our favorite kid headphones.
  • Reusable water bottles: we have and love these Nalgene bottles and we always pack them when we fly. It’s so much cheaper to fill those bottles at water fountains or with free water on the plane than to buy several overpriced bottles. In addition to the reusable bottles, we also bring flavored water drops. The kids don’t drink juice, but they love flavored water.
  • Extra clothes: we pack two extra pairs of clothes for each kid. They’re still toddlers and you just never know what sort of accidents, potty or otherwise, might happen. It never hurts to throw in an extra outfit for yourself, too, just in case. In addition to those extra clothes, we also pack a few plastic grocery bags because, if anything gets wet or dirty, we’ll want somewhere to put it.
  • More snacks: we aren’t spending 12 hours traveling with only a few snacks for our kids. B and G don’t always care for fast food, especially when we’re traveling, so in addition to the snacks pictured we’ll bring a few bananas, Goldfish crackers, and granola bars.
  • Medicine: I always bring medicine in case one of the kids gets a fever during our travel day. We also pack Benadryl to give the kids before our longest flight, which is about three and a half hours (this is something our doctor suggested we do). The kids wouldn’t nap otherwise. I think we all appreciate the sleep they get.
  • Wipes and Sanitizer: Both are no-brainers when packing a toddler carry-on. My kids can make a mess eating just about anything, so between cleaning them and the surfaces around them, we go through a lot of wipes (when they’re younger we just use diaper wipes; as they get older, we mostly use Wet Wipes). My kids hate the sound of- and refuse to use- those loud hand dryers in the bathroom. If those are the only option in the airport bathroom, we skip it and use hand sanitizer instead.

[Read more…]

Potty Training Made Easy

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It seems I’m no good at potty training.

The entire process went poorly with G. At the time, I chalked it up to inexperience on my part and resistance to change on his part. Some kids are more difficult to potty train than others, I told myself.

And then it was time to potty train B. I’d say it went slightly better than it did with her brother. Part of that is because we had more experience under our belts, and part of that is because I got a little bit wiser.

Potty training doesn't have to be the exhausting battle it was for us. Here are the tips and tricks we've used discovered to make it easier on everyone.

Before I had kids, I wasn’t going to be a mom that bought Pull-Ups® Training Pants. I thought they were an unnecessary step between diapers and underwear. I thought they just prolonged potty training and confused the child about what the goal was.

I was wrong.

It turns out toddlers thrive on consistency and diapers don’t teach potty training skills like Pull-Ups do. Plus, they look and fit more like underwear, giving your child the independence to slide his pants on and off.

By the time we started the potty training process with B, I’d learned my lesson. With her, Pull-Ups were a big part of the process, and they were also why it was easier on all of us. We used Pull-Ups to help B make the transition from diapers to underwear. Thanks to Pull-Ups, B felt like a big girl because we no longer had to change her diapers, but J and I didn’t have to worry she’d have an accident while we were in public.

Pull-Ups are super easy to put on and take off; the stretchy sides make them way more convenient than any other options we tried. Even though we’re grateful we discovered them in time to take a lot of the stress out of potty training B, that doesn’t mean the process was without hiccups. She’s a super stubborn kid- strong-willed, we like to say- and she can’t be easily coaxed into doing anything she doesn’t want to do.

All of the mistakes we made potty training G and B have solidified my desire to do a better job when it’s time to train baby number three. Luckily, I found the Pull-Ups website, and it’s full of resources to help make the transition from diapers to underwear as smooth as possible for both parents and toddlers. Specifically, I found three resources I’m absolutely going to take advantage of next time around.

Potty training doesn't have to be the exhausting battle it was for us. Here are the tips and tricks we've used discovered to make it easier on everyone.

[Read more…]

How We’re Preparing Our Toddlers for a New Baby

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How we’re preparing our toddlers for a new baby: all our best tips and tricks and making a smooth transition to life with a newborn.

I recently wrote about why I’m glad my kids are close in age, but lately I’ve been feeling thankful for how aware and excited they are about this new baby. Whereas we weren’t able to do much to prepare an 18-month-old G for the arrival of his little sister, this time around we’ve been having real conversations.How we're preparing our toddlers for a new baby: all our best tips and tricks and making a smooth transition to life with a newborn.

G is five and B will turn four just days before the baby is born. Obviously, they can’t really comprehend all the ways their lives will change when we become a family of five- can anyone, really?- but we can take steps to make all of us as prepared as possible for the new baby.

 

How We’re Preparing Our Toddlers for a New Baby

We’re making changes now

It’s important to us that the kids don’t associate all baby-related changes with the baby. For instance, we recently moved B upstairs to make her old downstairs room available for the baby. We did the move more than five months before the baby is due because we don’t want B to feel like the new baby is kicking her out.

We hyped the transition as a move to her “big girl room,” and we discussed how fun it would be for her to sleep upstairs down the hall from her brother. Since the move, she’s stopped to look at her “baby sister’s new room” a few times, so I know she knows what’s happening, but so far she’s been only excited about her new room.

The other big change we’re making is moving G from his car seat in the second row of our car to a booster seat in the third row. This change is slated to happen in the next couple weeks because G, even more so than his sister, needs to be coaxed into change. He needs to be talked through the process before, during, and after it happens. He knows he’s moving and he knows the new baby will be in his old spot, but we’ve talked the whole thing up as a big-boy move because he’ll soon be starting big-boy school.

We call the baby by name

For the first twenty weeks of pregnancy, we were careful not to use any gender-specific pronouns when referring to the baby. We wanted the kids to realize we didn’t know the gender. We had a gender-reveal ultrasound at 18 weeks and found out we’re having a girl. Ever since, we’ve referred to the baby as “she” and as their “baby sister”. Now that we’ve settled on a name, we use it all the time so G and B can think of her as a person, as much as their toddler minds can.

They’re watching Daniel Tiger

If you’re a parent of a toddler and you’re not familiar with Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, you’re missing out. It’s an animated show that we watch via Netflix and it’s a loose spin-off of Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood. In every episode, Daniel faces typical toddler challenges: visiting the doctor, sharing with friends, trying new foods. For each scenario, there’s a catchy little jingle attached that Daniel and the other characters use to overcome the issue.

Daniel’s mom has a baby in the first episode of season two; many of the subsequent episodes confront typical big sibling drama: why does the baby cry all the time? why does she need mom and dad’s attention so much? why does the new baby get into my toys? G and B have been watching those episodes since before we got pregnant, but now we’re intentional about playing them.

If you don’t have Netflix, you can buy just the episodes about Daniel being a big brother on DVD.

[Read more…]

Unexpected Truths of Pregnancy After Miscarriage

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The redemption and hope of pregnancy after miscarriage is a beautiful thing, but it brings with it unexpected truths and anxieties. 

The redemption and hope of pregnancy after miscarriage is a beautiful thing, but it brings with it unexpected truths and anxieties.

I took my first two pregnancies for granted. I didn’t experience a single complication with either one, and since my mom had five healthy, mostly uneventful pregnancies, I naïvely expected mine would be the same. I took my third pregnancy for granted, too, until we lost the baby at 12 weeks.

Now, in my fourth pregnancy, I’m learning a lot about how different it is to carry a child after losing one.

Unexpected Truths of Pregnancy After Miscarriage

The anxiety doesn’t go away

I thought- and hoped- that the constant anxiety I felt would subside somewhat when my pregnancy progressed past the point I miscarried. In a lot of ways, it did. But in several other ways, it continues even though I’m more than halfway through my second trimester.

Part of the reason is that, in the nearly 12 months between the loss of our third pregnancy and the beginning of our fourth, I read a lot of blog posts and articles about pregnancy and infant loss. I sought out stories from women who could relate to my grief and, in doing so, I learned more than I ever wanted to know about miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss.

I came to realize what I’d always known, but had never quite internalized: loss can come to anyone, at anytime. Reaching an arbitrary milestone doesn’t make me immune to that loss. I’ve learned I won’t truly feel this baby is “safe” until I hold her in my arms.

Signs of pregnancy are welcome

I would love to have sickness-free pregnancies. But I didn’t with my first three, so the morning sickness that occurred so frequently during the first dozen weeks of this pregnancy was welcome. While unpleasant, the nausea was a sign that pregnancy hormones were still running through my blood. I was still thankful when the morning sickness passed, but I appreciated it while it was around.

The big stuff becomes smaller

With my other pregnancies, we discussed possible names long before we found out the gender. The “big” ultrasound, the one with the gender reveal, was much-anticipated. This time around, our 20-week appointment, when we found out we’re having a girl, wasn’t the big to-do it’d been before, and we’ve only just begun discussing possible names.

Part of this, I’m sure, is due to the fact that we already have a boy and a girl. Maybe so many things about this pregnancy would be routine even if we hadn’t experienced miscarriage. I feel certain, though, that most of it’s because our main focus is the health of the baby. As long as we know she’s safe, everything else is secondary. Of course, that was the biggest priority for us before, too, but miscarriage brought it to the forefront.

[Read more…]