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Prone to Wander

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what public school teachers want parents to know about education

March 2, 2015 by Abby

what public school teachers want parents to know about education | winstead wandering

Not a week goes by without a national news story proclaiming the latest sins of a public school teacher. People love to like, share, and comment on any story that exposes even the smallest wrongdoing on the part of an educator.

I get it, I do. “Teacher Gives Own Time and Money to Buy Supplies for Students” lacks the sensationalism that most media outlets prefer.

“Teacher Spends Hours Each Evening Planning Lessons and Grading Papers” wouldn’t garner many readers.

“Teacher Voluntarily Supports Students at Sporting Events” would be downright laughable.

With so much negativity out there- including all the comments of “we need more teachers like this” on any story that manages to show educators in a positive light- there are a few things parents should know about the people who spend so much time with their children.

1. I believe in what I teach. School is not, despite what you may have heard, an endless parade of textbooks and worksheets and lectures. We prepare these kids for life, as best we can at least, considering our somewhat reluctant audience. And I can promise you that I know my curriculum, inside out and backwards, and I’m passionate about its ability to make your child a better adult.

2. I understand the system is broken. I know that public schools, as a rule, are overcrowded and underfunded. Student to teacher ratios are rising at an embarrassing rate, as are drop-out numbers. If your child is gifted, he’s likely doing fine, but the same probably can’t be said if he has unique learning needs.

If that’s the case, chances are you and your student both feel forgotten and unimportant. I’m just as frustrated as you are, maybe even more so, because I see your concerns magnified across an entire student body. I see all of these flaws, and more, and I wish I could fix them. I even have a few ideas about that, not that anyone is asking.

3. I love this job. The days can be long. The students can be moody and argumentative. The administration can be inconsistent and short-sighted. There are dark moments, moments when I wonder if I’m doing my job well, if my passion for the curriculum is evident.

Sometimes I run out of patience and snap at a student. Sometimes my personal life gets in the way and I don’t start the school day as prepared as I could be. Sometimes I’m rooting for that snow day just as much as your child is.

Even on days when I question my ability to teach effectively, when all I can do is close my eyes, breathe deep, and pray for patience, I can’t imagine doing anything else, being anywhere else.

4. I love your child. Yes, even yours. The one who never remembers to raise his hand in class. The one who spends more time visiting with her classmates than participating in discussions. The one who roles his eyes at every other word I speak.

I love them all. Sometimes I lay awake at night, worrying about the girl with a history of self-harming. Wondering if that activity we did in class had an impact on the quiet one in the back. Hoping that boy’s failed test was a one-off and not a sign of bigger issues.

I want every single one of my students to succeed, because I see huge potential in all of them.

5. I need your help. I think you need mine, too. We both want your child to grow into a responsible adult, making his or her unique contribution to society. You know your child better than anyone, but can I share something I’ve learned from experience?

Coddling her isn’t what’s best for her. Making excuses, transferring blame, hand-holding. I know you do those things because you love her, and because the world is harsh and why not protect her from that for as long as possible?

But an inward-focused teenager will grow into an entitled adult. The kind of person to whom regular rules don’t apply. The kind of person who doesn’t get along with others, but it’s never her fault. The kind of person you wouldn’t want as a coworker or as a friend.

So, while I know it’s tempting to smooth her ruffled feathers, please consider a different tactic. Consider urging her to work even harder on that group project, even though the other members are mean to her. Consider encouraging her to work extra hard in that class, even though she doesn’t mesh with the teacher.

She might be angry, and it might be hard, but you’ll be raising a child who possesses the kind of qualities we educators just can’t teach.

6. I think the media has it wrong. If you take only one thing away from this post, let it be that. If they had it their way, news outlets would have you believe that public schools are full of harried burnouts who couldn’t cut it at a real job.

That’s simply not true.

Your public school has some of the brightest, most patient people you’ll ever meet, in education or elsewhere. It has employees who could be working somewhere else, making a lot more money and facing a lot less criticism, but who stay because they believe in what they do and in the students they teach.

I know this because I work in a school full of teachers like that. I know this because I wonder every day if I’m doing all I can to be one.

what public school teachers want parents to know about education | winstead wandering

Obviously, this is a personal blog and these are my personal thoughts. I can’t actually presume to know what every public school teacher would like to say to students’ parents.

Filed Under: teaching, Wandering — Tagged With: personal, teaching, wandering

loss & longing part III: the weeks after

February 3, 2015 by Abby

loss & longing: thoughts on the aftermath of miscarriage

This is part III, the final part of the three part story of the miscarriage of our third baby. The story begins with part I and continues with part II.

On Tuesday, the day after we found out we lost the baby, we had to return to the doctor’s office for pre-surgery blood work and registration. I think I was mostly numb at that point, because I was able to keep my tears in check most of the time.

That evening we went to school (J. and I both teach high school; he teaches upper-level sciences and I teach business and technology). Because my surgery was scheduled for the next morning, Wednesday, we both had sub plans to make (I had to make mine for the rest of the week, but J. planned to return to work on Thursday). I was calm and collected during those couple hours working in my classroom; I’m pretty good at dealing with stress if I have tasks to complete. I methodically made my plans and left detailed notes and instructions for my sub(s).

We had to leave early Wednesday morning for the hospital. Because of the nature of my surgery, I didn’t have a set appointment time; they just fit me in where they could. We sat in the waiting room, waiting to be called back, for nearly two hours. I killed time messing around on my phone and watching The Today Show, not shedding a tear. [Read more…]

Filed Under: life, motherhood, pregnancy loss — Tagged With: life, miscarriage, motherhood, personal, pregnancy loss

loss & longing part II: immediately after

January 27, 2015 by Abby

loss & longing: thoughts on the aftermath of miscarriage

This is part two in the three part story of the loss our third pregnancy. To read the story from the beginning, here’s part I. The story concludes with part III.

The ultrasound tech came back just a few moments later with my doctor. He was so kind as he explained that the baby had died. He wanted me to call someone to come get me, but I insisted that I was okay to make the 30 minute drive home. He asked that I call the office later in the evening to discuss what we needed to do next, but I asked him to describe things to me there.

He explained that, because the pregnancy was 12 weeks along, I would have to have a D & C procedure: a surgery, performed under general anesthesia, in which the cervix is dilated and the contents of the uterus are removed. After we talked briefly, he walked me to my car.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: life, motherhood, pregnancy loss — Tagged With: life, miscarriage, motherhood, personal, pregnancy loss

loss & longing part I: finding out

January 20, 2015 by Abby

loss & longing: thoughts on the aftermath of miscarriage | winstead wandering

The first and only ultrasound photo we have of Baby Winstead #3. This was taken at my eight week appointment, where everything looked healthy and normal.

This is part I in the three part story of the miscarriage of our third baby; here is part II.

When I was younger, I didn’t understand the concept of miscarriage. How can you miss and mourn something that you’ve never held? As someone who believes that life begins at conception, it wasn’t that I didn’t believe those pregnancies were people. It was that I didn’t see how the loss of something so small could cause such huge pain.

Fast forward a decade to March of 2010. J. and I had just bought our first home, in Oregon, and he was back in Mississippi visiting family. It had occurred to me while at work that I was two weeks late. I was never late. So, after work, I stopped by the grocery store to buy a pregnancy test. I was so sure the test would be negative that I even bought tampons, too.

I went straight home and took the test. I hoped I was pregnant. J. and I had been trying for a couple of months. In those two minutes, as I paced the hallway outside the bathroom with our pony-sized black lab following anxiously behind, I dreamed. I imagined calling J. to share the news. I thought about my body growing and changing and the joy and anticipation of preparing for the baby. I pictured us as a family of three, with me falling in love with J. all over again while watching him be a dad.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: life, motherhood, pregnancy loss — Tagged With: life, miscarriage, motherhood, personal, pregnancy loss

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